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I've moved to http://cityofdelusion.wordpress.com cus wordpress allows password protected posts :)

Goodbye the-deprecated.

i dont understand. Why the insensitivity? I'm not a tool that's only required in time of need. FYI, I'm a human.

You added on to the reasons not to stay on.

I guess in this period of downs and intensity, ive seen different kinds of people. Perhaps God wants to let me see the contrast between the people who really care and the people who doesnt.

Here's what one of my friend did which really touched me during this period of time:



...Thanks pal :)

hw list:
chinese ex 3
math tutorial 9
lit poem
read great expectations
GP file
chem test
study ahead for econs.

i feel accomplished :O im at least ready for schl on monday :O SLACK TIME xD~

decision wise, i'm more or less set. :) i got smth to look forward to alr ;) which i cant disclose..

hanging out with pl band ppl makes me wanna pick up my eupho to play a tune or two.. and just relax and have fun.

i think they just have the thing to make people feel relaxed and welcomed. Maybe its the innocence, maybe its the sincerity. I finally understand why sir seem to love our band so much.

anw, we had supper @ macs after the concert. ate like from 11+pm to 12+am. Cabbed back and dropped amanda(lim) and yel at bishan on the way back.

i miss the craziness, the warmth and the carefree feeling the band radiates.

as their closeness increase with every second together
we drift further as the clock ticks away.

Leaving me with lesser reasons to stay.

what would you say if
i tell you i think i'm falling for you once again?
but i guess i wont have the courage to do so anyway.

got dismissed early cus no gp.
went back to pl.
gotten back my olvl cert.
saw a few of my batchmates.
sry ive got no mood to sound elated/excited/whiny/etc


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

hw list:
chinese ex 3
math tutorial 9
lit poem
read great expectations
GP file
chem test
study ahead for econs.

I miss PAE.
People are becoming so cold now.

sometimes you fight so much for something you desire
till you forget where the heart is
or how to feel for anyone at all.

"..for what is 'that' but 'that'? And 'is' but 'is'?"
-Twelfth Night, Shakespeare.

Here in twelfth night, shakespeare is trying to say that titles are mere words and dont reflect on the real being.

reflected a lot while during the moments tht i was alone at sports day. Feeling rather emo now. How i wish i can continue to adopt this escapist attitude that i used to do in upper sec. Hmm. This yr, ive been deluded - i realised people are so good at putting up fronts and pretence. But behind your back, you'll never know what they truly think and/or truly are.

Also.. i'm quite upset seeing stuff happening around me. heard stuff but i shant say what stuff. leaves you to wonder. I can only say this doesnt involve my cca.

aight i better get started on my math tutorial or else mskuah will kill me :O haha i spoke to her tday after schl haha i think shes nice :D

oh gawd my mum kept pressurising me to make up a decision. i merely snapped "its my business, stop interfereing" and she scolded me :/ gah.......

this is so random but i know alot of u guys do read so yeah. i'll nt be so direct in my this blog anymore. ppl are ALWAYS watching and talking behind ur back. :) selective few of my better friends will know which online blog t refer to ;)

Here I am at the crossroads.
whatever i choose at this point of time will be permanent.

Ohana means family
and family means no one gets left behind.

I guess for this beginning of year, i've made many wrong choices already. Wrong impressions. Wrong perceptions. Of both objects AND people.

oh i had chem tuition ytd. omg my HCI j2 tuition tcher's damn pro. i actually understand chem :O

kester, eugene, edwin, michelle, sarah lsq, etc, thanks for listening/talking to me today. Really appreciate it :)

Save your sympathy
Who do you think you're fooling?
Everything is dead!
Now you welcome me,
To a town called hypocrisy

dilemma.

it feels weird being an observer of your friends' lives
when just a while ago, you were part of them.

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I need no fame
I want no special powers
all i desire is one good friend
whom i can chat on the phone with for hours.

(edit @ 11pm)
YESSSS IM FINALLY DONE WITH IPW's PI!! Time to attack chem!

my day in summarised form:
-brkfast @ sengkang macs with cel, lydia, mary
-movie Mr Bean's Holiday with mary and brenda
-brenda accompanied me and i got my pullover from b&b
-brenda & i shopped. her church friend joined us. i left ard 5pm and reached home to rush PI.

Goodbye and good night.
(/edit)

---
low self esteem.
i feel as if im always judged wherever i go.

seriously if i didnt suppressed my angst, i'd have just walked off the dinner table.
sometimes it's the way you guys talk tht makes me not wanna go home.
sometimes i wonder why am i always trying hard to not make u guys upset or trying not to waste your money.
i've always felt so proud and blessed to have you guys. dont make me feel otherwise.
don't make me feel tht my comfort zone .. isnt tht comfortable anymore.

and you, please dont be so nice to me. i dont want the same old feeling to come back again.

kind of feeling the blues right now. how ironic, after chatting with tim leong abt him being emo --"

theres this sinking feeling in me. like some kind of uncertainty. i dont like feeling uncertain......

i cant help feeling as if im in a different world. i hardly talk to a lot of my band friends now, i miss my 1st 3 mths friends, i miss pl band. it feels like i dont have a place in anywhere right now.

i feel like an introvert suddenly.

maybe this sinking feeling has been there for long, but suppressed by the large amt of homework tht kept coming. Like what mtc said, to bury my head into work and forget abt all the other stuffs. And i guess i shld forget about expecting stuff to happen cus they wont. mugging is like my escape from all these rubbish feeling im going thru. I think it works cus ive been quite happy for the past few days :]

ok.. i wanna sleep. sleeping is another way to forget all these stuff momentarily.

and dont bother talking to me abt this. because of my environment, ive become so uncomfortable talking to ppl about stuff. Im too used to keeping stuff to my own, and being on my own.

ive got so much to do this weekend:

1. math tutorial 8 (by wed)
2. math prac paper (by mon)
3. chem ws (by mon)
4. PI (DIE DIE by mon)
5. econs case study (by fri)
6. study chi
7. start studying chem or else i'd get to nowhere.
8. start on GP independent learning proj?
9. try chem tutorials for redox and mole concept chapter after figuring out the concepts.

weekend's pretty filled up. namely:
sat -> brkfast with pok & mary, movie with mary and maybe brenda
sun -> out to meet bao pong tong

so much to do, so little time!

photos from last week's chi free period, taken frm rachel's friendster..(studious and bimbo shots):




------------
no.1: if u dont wanna work hard, dont whine.
no.2: if skipping lesson is ur thing, dont complain. or even worry abt retaining.
no.3: if ure trying to seek attention or gain fame by doing such stuff (which i dont wanna mention), its stupid.

im not just referring to any one person in particular, but quite a number of ppl whom i know (may not be in same schl) are like tht. which kinda irritates me cause its your own action which cause u such misery. Do something to salvage the situation, not just sit there and whine. because at the end of the day, its what you do that makes a difference. And if you choose still not to do anything then too bad if u risk the chance of retaining. I'm telling you because i'm a friend. So please wake up.

hello people i'm back :B

i got back my math test and im satisfied with the results :D :D :D gd thing tht i started studyign for it like a week ahead. could have done better but im still satisfied cus those topics tested consist of my weak topics. so yay :D

nxt up chinese test :( why cant we go back to the days where chi was like.. just whack la dont need to mug kind of exam. Now need to remember stuff T_T

meanwhile im so excited for the weekend :D im gg brkfast with lyd pok and mary on sat, then movie with mary aft tht. sunday im gonna meet my bao pong tong! HAHA. bao= huilin, pong=darryl, tong=aloy. :D eggggg-citing weekend.

chem tuition starts on mon and the tuition agent aka my future math tutor, got me a chem tutor who's in j2 at HCI. interesting. math tuition only starts aft 15may.

omg why am i talkin abt accademics. GAH. i have nth to post alr cept for the fact tht kester's so gay till he changed his msn nick to "POOH BEAR" and dp to pooh bear. omg he's the gayest buddy i ever have.

--edited a few seconds later--
oh look, even his reaction's damn gay.

POOH BEAR says:
WHATHE
sheree; \ says:
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
POOH BEAR says:
YOU
POOH BEAR says:
YOU
POOH BEAR says:
YOU
POOH BEAR says:
SHEREE
POOH BEAR says:
YOU

---
omg spiderman 3's coming out soon :D i cant wait!

although the issue doesnt concern me, but im quite put off by the way you put across your ideas.
sometimes youve gotta SHOW the action. not mere words, dude.
stop being so cocky. my goodness.

ok i think i managed to get a tutor already :D yayness.

anyway cool photos taken after our individuals

I am in need of relatively cheap and goood/experienced home tutors for:
H1 chemistry
H2 mathematics

i'd prefer those tutors that target on types of qns, teaches short cut (esp math) if possible, and are very resourceful (like they have many other schl papers etc)

and most importantly they are willing to travel to yishun -.- because my prev supposedly chem tutor dropped me cus i live too far -.-"

I need tutors.. asap! before May if possible or else im doomed for my terms :( email/msn me their contacts and credentials. xsheree@gmail.com. thanks :)

i think i'm overly stressed tht i'm too lazy to start on my work :/
math test was okay i guess. managed to finish (phew) on time to check through.
gp package test i left 1 page blank cus i wasnt fast enough.
maybe i'm only fast with numbers. HA.

managed to spend time with my ex class during one of the 40mins brk today. heard stuffs and aye, i guess we all got to make do with whatever we've got and settle for the 2nd best. we're not in a position to decide which choice yields the least opportunity cost.(hah, bad joke) i hope we'll be happy. hope. and i guess my dream of having a close girl bud (like BFF kind) in schl will be dashed. well, its a dream afterallll..... :/

meanwhile, chi class proved to be interesting today. mass camwhoring cause our laoshi didnt come. and oh its isaac(1ah)'s bday today, so we dedicated a photo to him- taken with him lying on the table with all of us behind him.

okkkk updates on sunday :D

liyun and i went to marina sq to accompany yel to buy his bag. whalao he's damn picky okay. after a long time he finally got it :O

we ate at hans, then headed to concourse shopping mall to studyyy

yel is a big distraction for me and liyun :/ haha. so i ended up reading gp package only. :/

my ipod randomly played Emmanuel VI's pieces.. and nostalgia came flooding between me and liyun. memoirs of the concert as well as the genting trip... priceless :)

photos below :D i shall go bathe then study now :O

been blog hopping :) read some of my graduating band junior's blogs.. felt pretty warmed by their entries. They finally felt the passion for pl band that i've experienced last 2 years, and the relunctance to leave. I'm glad PL band has made such an impact on them and their lives, as it did to me.

PL band, forever.

just for laughs:


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net